He Kills Two Stones With One Bird

rajni1.jpgI studied at a military school, Sainik School to be precise, where I had an option to watch at least three movies a week. Still, I preferred watching movies while on a vacation to my native place.

During one such break in 1983, I had seen ‘Andha Kanoon’ – starring Amitabh Bachchan, Hema Malini and Rajnikanth, and I vividly remember my excitement when, on return to the barracks, a teacher had asked if anyone had seen the movie during the holidays.

“Yes Sir,” I had raised my hand brilliantly, without realising the trick Mr. Sudhir had in mind.

“Good. Then tell us who is the ‘hero’ in the film!”

“Amitabh Bachchan,” I had given a flash answer.

“No$$$$$. It is  Rajnikanth fool,” Mr. Sudhir had retorted. And I stood corrected.

I had realised my mistake. But then, I had also realised, then and there, that Amitabh Bachchan was no longer the only ‘hero’ in the Indian film industry. Rajnikanth had made an impressive entry. The realisation got reinforced when my brother Pankaj, then posted at the Bangalore Air Force Station, wrote to me detailing how great an icon Rajnikanth was, down in the South.

I was impressed by the new ‘hero’. I am impressed still. And can I thank my friends – Suresh and Rajan – enough for gifting me the DVD of Rajnikanth’s 2007 release “Sivaji – the Boss”- the most expensive Indian film at the time of its release! It was superstar’s 100th Tamil film for which he got Rs.20 crore. rajni-2.jpg

I am given to understand that the world watched the movie one and only for Rajnikanth’s performance and style.

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And these days, members of a social networking website are mass forwarding a brief CV of the most influential and bankable movie star. Here it goes:

“You want to know who is Rajanikanth. …here are the facts…lesser known facts. Rajanikanth makes onions cry. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth? ” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.”

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