I want to fly

I am flying. Illustration by Neeraj Bhushan. Make it your desktop image. You would love it.
Make this your desktop image. You’d just love it.

My friends from my home city are big men today; some of them are settled abroad, and the oldest from Muzaffarpur is so busy that he doesn’t even know what Facebook is. And Twitter? Ooh! He can’t waste time, there too. His normal car speed in Jeddah is 100 km/hr.

My schoolmates too are big men now. Almost all are officers, some of them so big that their secretaries have to update them about their nails and mails. I am surprised most of them don’t have space to create personal mail ids or liberty to keep private cell phones.

My friends from colleges and universities are either into IAS or are positioned similarly, at higher altars.

All big men. Yes, they were studious. Many of them would study 18 hours, I swear.

And me?

I loved reading Mandrake and Phantom. I also loved listening to radio – be it commentary or songs.

Actually, I wanted to become a train driver. Honestly.

Since my school days, I would travel in train engines. Whenever tickets were tucked, I’d get them cancelled to travel free … to travel in an engine … to taste floating in high speed, time and again.

Each time I would feel as if I am the train on the track … as if the machine dog days are over … and I am the train on the track. I would say, “O God, the good times are here at last.”

Maybe Rose (Kate Winslet) would have felt the same way in Titanic, when Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) helped her ride the sea … and she had said: “I’m flying.”

Alas! I could not become an engine driver. But, God willing, I get to feel the feel (Rose felt).

I want to close my eyes, and go on … stepping up, holding on to the railing. Keeping my eyes closed, stepping up on the railing. Holding on, holding on. Keeping my eyes closed. Trusting my feelings … and opening my eyes, to say: I’m flying! I am flying!! I am flying!!!

O God, I want to sit in the front, watch the sea, touch the air, manoeuvre the ship.

God, I wanna step up into the flying machine, going up, going up, going up … unzipping the sea.


  1. This is so sweet. Very well poured out of ur heart. SO loved it….I ALSO WANT TO FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY……………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  2. Train engines have always fascinated me… I remember once travelling from Samastipur to Darbhanga in a goods train engine. It was one moment of my I can’t forget till now. Nothing can match the experience…I was awestruck. That was the time I also wanted to be a train-engine driver…Its like controlling a monster…Thanks sirji for taking me to one of the best times in my life… I owe you a lot…


  3. Oh, the flying scene!! Just LOVE that! So romantic–as if that would ever happen. Whenever we get on a boat I actually do that and Bill has to take photos of me at the bow doing the scene. Poor guy married a drama queen…oh we have fun. Speaking of that, he wants to be a pilot, or a train driver. Why not dream? why not even think it’s still possible? Only one life. Just one.


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